~As many of you have realized, it’s July 4th. *shoots confetti cannon*
~What I don’t understand is why I was witnessing fireworks yesterday. That’s right. I was being fat in my kitchen when I heard loud noises. Outside, I saw a series of colorful, explosive bursts in the night sky.
~If they thought yesterday was the 4th, they’re either dumb or just momentarily confused.
~If they were perfectly aware that it was the 3rd but set off fireworks anyway, I have lost faith in the human race.
~How would you feel if one of your neighbors decided to go trick-or-treating on the 30th? Or if your friend opened Christmas presents on the 24th? It just doesn’t make any sense. The dates actually mean something, folks. It’s not like somebody thought, “Hm. I want a day where everyone can get presents from a fictional fat guy. December 25th sounds good.”
~Anyway, enjoy freedom and nationalism and all that. Peace.
